Sup?
“You know. Things. Life. Whatnot.”
Robotic pandas versus giant sleepwalking chess pieces made of an innovative new polymer: Which would be more deserving of Hugh Hefner’s millions when he perishes?
I’m pretty sure that Hugh Hefner is either immortal or already dead. You ever see Death Becomes Her? Like that. But with more shellac.
I like your avatar.
T’anks. I’m photogenic when I’m drunk. Apparently.
I’m opening a boutique with my best friend and we’re thinking about what we want to name it. Help me out with your creativity!
Sure. But first you have to tell me what you’re planning to sell. Unless you want me to tell you that too. <3
How do I get out of here?
Use the fire exit. You’ll trip the alarm, but have no fear. I’ll create a diversion.
Will I ever find a suitcase filled with unmarked, non-sequential $100 bills that didn’t involve being pursued by a crazy guy with an air-gun? Oh, that and peace on earth. Merry Christmas.
If I were you, I’d stop being afraid of the air-gun. Dude? Air? Not lethal. Y Feliz Navidad.
Ask me a question. Or maybe you need a confessor. Either way. I’m here for you.
Do it! It’s for a good cause. (Keeping me out of trouble.)
jesse’s girl // rick springfield
the main character in nightmare 2’s name is jesse. his girlfriend’s vaguely fornicable.
When I was little I had a babysitter who was capital oh obsessed with Rick Springfield. She’d come over with her vinyl all carefully wrapped in a special case. She’d tell us how she was going to marry “her Rick”. And have his babies. Blah blah yucky yucky blah.
I, the 6-year-old voice of reason was like, Um, Cindy? But you don’t even know him. He lives in California. And I think I heard on the radio that he’s married.
And she was all, Yes, I do! So what!?! And shut up you did not and no he isn’t!
I was so grossed out by this… I think it’s half the reason I’ve never been much for celebrity crushes. (The other half of the reason is River Phoenix and his untimely demise.)
Fast forward 25 years. I’m back in Nyack because my brother’s girlfriend’s brother’s band - “The Hearts-On”, say it out loud - they’re playing in a local bar, and I pinky swear promised I’d be in the audience. And who do you think is there? In the front row? Spending the entire show frantically tapping her foot and desperately trying to make eye contact with the bass player?
Oh, YEAH. Cindy.
At first I was saddened to see she was still the same kind of crazy. But then I realized that she’d redirected her energies to someone she had actually seen in the flesh. So, good for you, Cindy. Rock on.
Also? LOVE THIS TUNE.
(Even though, forgive me Scott, I’m pretty sure it’s Jessie with an “i”… which is a girl’s name, yes? What is that all about?)
Quick. Somebody say something funny. Before I set something on fire just to watch it burn.
Ever since blocking became an easily accessible option. And thank GAWD for that little “x” because 284 notifications is just way too much social pressure for me.
The only thing I have not blocked is SuperPoke. Because somehow… It’s like the original annoying Facebook app? And while I want to neuter it and then maybe burn it to the ground just to be sure I also have a soft spot in my heart? Because there was a time, three years ago, when an invitation to virtual mistletoe made me smile…
